Ambitious Mothering is Leadership

Leadership.

The word strikes conversation among those seeking to understand what makes a leader good or great. Those who want to become a good leader search for information in books and articles. Many graduate degree programs seek to strengthen the core concepts of leadership. Individuals starting on their leadership journey want practical and concrete examples of how they can become great leaders. They try to model themselves after examples of what they believe outstanding leadership involves. 

When I spoke to Aderonke Adelekan to discuss motherhood, ambitious mothering and what being a deliberate mother means to her, I caught a glimpse of what authentic leadership looked like. Before our interview even began, Aderonke’s leadership style surfaced through an impromptu conversation.

Every week, the neighbors in Aderonke's community get together in their alleyway to visit. They catch up on local events and discuss things related to their children. While the ingenuity of this deliberate act of socializing was intriguing, what struck me as fascinating was the conversation that Aderonke held with her neighbor’s child. Where many adults tend to change the tone and inflection of their voice and speak down to children, Aderonke just spoke. More importantly, she listened. She gave that child her undivided attention for as long as the child needed. That, in my opinion, is true leadership.

Aderonke Adelekan, founder of the Children’s Leadership Initiative and author of the book, Raising Good Leaders: A Guide for Parents and Educators, modeled her passion. Developing good leadership in children can be as simple as listening to the excited conversation of a child.

Sit with me and read Aderonke’s story on what it means to foster leadership in children and develop leadership traits that promote a new generation of leaders who lead with a caring spirit. 

I Am…Leadership

I spent most of my career in corporate America. I worked for banks and brokerage firms, and I climbed extremely high on the corporate ladder. I ultimately landed a position as the CEO and Director at a large technology firm. Then one day, that climb ended as I realized through my own experience with senior leadership how we truly lack good leadership in our country.

I was confronted by a supervisor who threatened to end my career because I wasn't willing to agree with the direction that they wanted to take. At that moment, I felt pushed. When they are forced, I realized that some leaders push others, and this interaction was not acceptable to me.

I was shocked at this treatment. Here was a person that I felt was a good leader, but when they were challenged and push came to shove, there was a lack of insight, and in turn, they chose to challenge me by threatening me. I left that company and channelled my energy into a doctoral degree which focused on one vital question—how do we develop good leaders? My goal now is to develop good leaders worldwide, especially in my hometown of Lagos, Nigeria. My dissertation focused on the most impactful way to raise good leaders. Out of that work, I developed a tool that assesses the leadership ability of young children. It identifies their innate strengths and highlights areas to develop further. Through the use of this tool, I hope to enlighten and engage parents and educators with the ability to identify and focus on those leadership qualities that need further development.

When a child can identify what their core values and strengths are, they can begin to shape those values into who they are, and this becomes a navigational tool. They then have a compass that guides them as they navigate through life and its challenges. Leadership development starts young. If we can help children identify the leaders they want to be at an early age, it shapes them. I believe it takes more effort to change or adapt the values of an adult than that of a child.

I want to build a forest of great leaders, starting with our children.

I AM…an Advocate

I believe in teaching empathy, listening with intention, and identifying what bullying looks like. I am committed to having discussions. Conversation is how we create a better world. Many people are afraid of treading in the wrong direction, but we must let our children know that it’s okay to make mistakes and then to course-correct. 

Leadership is about being human. Most leaders in organizations forget this fact. I also believe that it is better to have no leader than to have a bad one.

I AM…an Ambitious Mother.

We only have a finite amount of time to empower our children to be their best selves. My goal is to be the best mom I can be and create change. Outside of raising my children, I want to build libraries in Nigeria that teach literacy and digital literacy. This is the passion of my hands.

It isn't easy to function in today's world when you can't read or write. Whether it’s a prescription you were given to help heal an ailment or needing to find information on the internet, it’s hard to navigate if you can’t read. I want the children in my country to be successful. That is why I am pushing myself to achieve a milestone over the next eight years to have 174 libraries built. To date, we have 70 already built toward that goal. 

I need every individual that I meet to commit to sponsoring one library so that we can multiply this venture as quickly as possible. We need to get to a point where we increase the bliss and joy that we give back to others, including our children.

I AM…

I’m not the type of person who likes to paint myself into a box. If I had to complete that sentence, I am– I would say that I am everything. I am an artist, and I am art. I am a blank canvas to create on. I feel as though I have barely started. If I look at a blank white canvas, I am the small dab of paint in the corner. There is still so much work to be done.

Overall though, I am perfectly imperfect and content. I live beyond my wildest imagination, and I will trailblaze into the future to help lessen the plight of children around the globe. I will do so by creating great leaders.

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